Miss Me With The Menu Hacks

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Hey! What’s good, family? This is Keke taking over the blog mic for Chris, and today I’m going in on menu hacks.

Specifically, McDonald’s Menu Hacks.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Ooh, if you go after McDonalds, Keke, they could sue you! Listen, if McDonald’s wants to come after a give-me-fitness-or-give-me-death mama bear who only wants to see people live their healthiest lives, they can step to me. I’ll tell them to put salads back on the menu.

All that being said, here’s my directive for you regarding the McDonald’s menu hacks: DON’T.

Just don’t, boo-boo, okay?

For those of you who don’t know what the fuss is all about, the geniuses at Mickey D’s headquarters got together and capitalized on a few TikTok food hacks. The hacks involve ordering two or three items and putting them all together to create one monstrous gastronomical nightmare.

To make the Hash Brown McMuffin, order a Sausage McMuffin with Egg and Hash Browns, then put them together in one sandwich.

To make the Crunchy Double, order a Double Cheeseburger, 6 piece Chicken McNuggets, and BBQ Sauce. Pile it all together and enjoy.

To make the Land, Air & Sea, order a Big Mac, a McChicken, AND a Filet-o-Fish and, you guessed it, put all that together in one creation and eat it.

Umm, I’m here to raise my hand and state for the record that your body is your temple. If you eat any of the above creations, I guarantee you it’s like walking around your house and sprinkling a handful of termites around the foundation just for kicks.

Any single McDonald’s lunch item contains enough fat, sodium, and calories to fuel you for half a day. Now tack on one or two more items in the same meal. Congratulations! You just doubled or tripled the food bomb.

Let’s say you construct the Land, Air & Sea and actually eat it. Let Keke do the math. A Big Mac contains 563 calories. A McChicken sandwich contains 400 calories. A Filet-O-Fish is 390 calories. The Land, Air & Sea will deliver a whopping 1353 calories. To burn it off, you would have to walk, jog, or swim fast for 4.5 hours.

Keke will stop right there because you probably don’t want to think about what a fat hit like that might do to your liver, especially if you’re daring enough to try the McDonald’s menu hacks more than once in a lifetime.

So, yes, I’m saying you want to steer clear of the McDonald’s menu hacks. The flyers, commercials, and, of course, the TikTok folks who created them would like to see you try one. But you know better, because you want better. No, scratch that, you want the best.

The best health and the best life for a long time to come.

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